Last Days of Summer

So yeah, school is right around the corner. I have mixed feelings about this. I'm thrilled that pretty soon I won't have to worry about the whole secret double life thing, but I am less than thrilled to be going back to isolated College Town. Also the girls in the dorm last year wouldn't ever shut the fuck up. Maybe it'll be different this year. Either that or I'll have to introduce them to the wonder that is Tylenol PM.

Despite having the last week and a half off work (gotta love being a contingent), all I've managed to do is pack up two boxes for back to school, totally messing up my room in the process. Oh yeah, thanks to my mother's Swiss-made food chopper, one of my fingers is a little bit shorter than it used to be. My accomplishments are few, but massive. Because hey, lets face it, only the massively clumsy can manage to slice off 1/8 of a pinky finger. And only the massively lazy can boast about having packed up two boxes. After I found my IPod ("missing" since early May), I lost interest in the packing.

Fa la la la la .... la la la .. la ??

After four straight days of work, averaging between eight and nine hours a day on my feet, walking around being nice to people, I finally have a day off. And I have no idea what to do with it. The day after I got back from school, I started working. Moving straight from exam week to hectic work week means that even though I have the next two days off, I can't relax. I'll probably be walking out the door Tuesday morning when I finally reach that relaxed state. Then I'm going to drive out of my neighborhood and it'll be bumper to bumper all the way to Macy's.

Now would be the time that I would complain about all the crazies I had to deal with during the week, but I'm not going to do that. It's the holidays, and when you have to spend 30 minutes looking for a parking place, another 20 minutes walking to the store, and then fight your way through the crowds, hope that the store has what you need and then spend 15-30 minutes in line, then you simply cannot be held responsible for your words and actions.

Instead of complaints, I'll share some quotes. I am always coming up with new and exciting ways to embarrass myself.

to frustrated foreign shopper: "So, where are you visiting from?"
"Iceland"
"Wow, I've never met anyone from Iceland before."

to a woman of indeterminate age: "Are these for your granddaughter?"
"No... for my daughter."

at 11:30 pm, to the customer service clerk, after opening a credit account and winning a prize: "I have a bag, and it's a Kors bag. Go me!" (accompanied by a little retarded dance-- it was late, I was running solely on caffeine)

"Wow, I've been selling red hats all day. Red must be in."
"It's Christmas."
"Oh, I keep forgetting."

Ok, and here's one from a customer: "Thank you sir! I mean, ma'am. You are definitely not a sir, ma'am."