After four straight days of work, averaging between eight and nine hours a day on my feet, walking around being nice to people, I finally have a day off. And I have no idea what to do with it. The day after I got back from school, I started working. Moving straight from exam week to hectic work week means that even though I have the next two days off, I can't relax. I'll probably be walking out the door Tuesday morning when I finally reach that relaxed state. Then I'm going to drive out of my neighborhood and it'll be bumper to bumper all the way to Macy's.
Now would be the time that I would complain about all the crazies I had to deal with during the week, but I'm not going to do that. It's the holidays, and when you have to spend 30 minutes looking for a parking place, another 20 minutes walking to the store, and then fight your way through the crowds, hope that the store has what you need and then spend 15-30 minutes in line, then you simply cannot be held responsible for your words and actions.
Instead of complaints, I'll share some quotes. I am always coming up with new and exciting ways to embarrass myself.
to frustrated foreign shopper: "So, where are you visiting from?"
"Iceland"
"Wow, I've never met anyone from Iceland before."
to a woman of indeterminate age: "Are these for your granddaughter?"
"No... for my daughter."
at 11:30 pm, to the customer service clerk, after opening a credit account and winning a prize: "I have a bag, and it's a Kors bag. Go me!" (accompanied by a little retarded dance-- it was late, I was running solely on caffeine)
"Wow, I've been selling red hats all day. Red must be in."
"It's Christmas."
"Oh, I keep forgetting."
Ok, and here's one from a customer: "Thank you sir! I mean, ma'am. You are definitely not a sir, ma'am."
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Five down, two to go
Another semester over. I'm back at home, and I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I get to be near the fam, eat food that won't make me sick, lose the incredibly pronounced accent I've picked up over the last few months, and on the other hand I get to spend 8+ hours a day in a department store, putting up with Christmas carols and annoying people, and I'm really gonna miss all my intro class and Saturday morning people. I already miss my friends. At least I got to spend some quality time with them before I left. Feeding marshmallows to ducks (it's hilarious-- try it sometime), chasing those same ducks around the park, sitting on the side of a country road in a car with a flat tire, watching Sex in the City and then having a minor nervous breakdown during the commercials (I don't wanna go home! I'm not ready to tell my mom that I'm converting!)... these are the moments I live for. Well, maybe not the nervous breakdown. I so could have done without that.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
You know you wanna
Plenty of visitors, but not a single comment since switching over. :(
How to post comments in this new craptastic beta format:
Click: "Post a comment". Then where it says "Choose Identity", click "other" and manually type your stuff.
thanks to: Tamara Eden
So leave me some comments. I would love it if you did.
How to post comments in this new craptastic beta format:
Click: "Post a comment". Then where it says "Choose Identity", click "other" and manually type your stuff.
thanks to: Tamara Eden
So leave me some comments. I would love it if you did.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
A Blast from the Past
I was going through my old blog over at Xanga, deleting entries when I came across a gem of a story I wrote during my last month of high school, for theater class. I won a Snickers bar for my efforts. Grammar and spelling aren't what they should be, but hey, I wrote it in high school.
A long time ago in a place that does not exist except in the minds of young children and the co-dependent, there was a princess with a major problem. When the princess was born, a bunch of fairies showed up to bestow their fairy-like gifts upon the regal infant. All the fairies from the kingdom were invited, except for one, who was deemed unworthy. This fairy, Beatrice was really mad, and decided that she would not let a simple thing like not being invited to the biggest party of the year keep her from going. So Beatrice showed up, and all the nice fairies hid in the corner.
“Where’s the brat?” Beatrice asked.
“Overrrrrr therrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee,” someone studdered, pointing to a little jewel-encrusted crib where the princess was patiently waiting on her next present.
Beatrice took one enormous step over to the crib and looked down at the kid. The kid looked back, and wondered why Beatrice was not wearing pink like all the other fairies, or even smiling like all the other fairies. Beatrice bent down to get a closer look since her vision was bad and she couldn’t afford laser vision correction. It’s such a drag being an outcast fairy! The princess picked up her little toy scepter and hit Beatrice on the nose with it.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Beatrice screamed, backing away. “That is it! I was actually going to give you a nice present, but since you did that, I’ll just put a curse on you instead! No pair of scissors will ever be able to cut your hair, except for one, and I’m not telling you where it is!” Beatrice then ran off, leaving the princess, her parents and the fairies standing there, stunned.
Princess Hairball, as she became known, was about sixteen when her curse became a real problem. Her hairdresser tried his hardest to find ways to style Hairball’s hair, but the fact was that the sheer weight of her hair was too much for her to stand. She could not hold her head up at all anymore, and had taken to wearing a neck brace just so she could look at people.
On Hairball’s seventeenth birthday, her hair had reached a width that made it impossible to leave her room. She was very sad, and she spent all of her time in her room with her hairdresser, who tried everything other than cutting her hair. After her fifth bleach job, done in an attempt to make Hairball’s hair become so brittle that it would break, Hairball gave up.
One day, five years after Hairball began spending all her time in her room, she received a visitor. She was shocked, since many people had come, claiming to have Beatrice’s magic scissors, but had promptly left, being scared to death by this girl with a bad bleaching job.
Hairball didn’t even get up to greet her visitor, partially because she could not. “I’ll save you princess!” he said, grabbing a huge hunk of hair and snipping it off with the scissors, which resembled hedge trimmers more than scissors. It took several hours, but Hairball was finally able to sit up, and then hold her head up.
“Oh thank you!” Hairball said once she had her first ever haircut. True, it was choppy beyond reason, but Hairball’s hairdresser could fix that.
“Your welcome,” the guy said.
“Yo! Harvey! It’s time to go home!” someone screamed from outside the window. Hairball poked her head out, not remembering the last time she had been able to do that.
“Your name is Harvey?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“You’re not even a real prince, are you?”
“Uh, no.”
It didn’t matter, because Hairball and Harvey got married anyway, because no prince wanted to marry Hairball. Not only was Queen Hairball a totally unflattering name, Hairball now had a new hair woe. She could now get her hair cut as often as she wanted, but the five consecutive bleaching were irreversible, and Hairball was doomed to spend the rest of her life with freakishly white hair.
A long time ago in a place that does not exist except in the minds of young children and the co-dependent, there was a princess with a major problem. When the princess was born, a bunch of fairies showed up to bestow their fairy-like gifts upon the regal infant. All the fairies from the kingdom were invited, except for one, who was deemed unworthy. This fairy, Beatrice was really mad, and decided that she would not let a simple thing like not being invited to the biggest party of the year keep her from going. So Beatrice showed up, and all the nice fairies hid in the corner.
“Where’s the brat?” Beatrice asked.
“Overrrrrr therrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee,” someone studdered, pointing to a little jewel-encrusted crib where the princess was patiently waiting on her next present.
Beatrice took one enormous step over to the crib and looked down at the kid. The kid looked back, and wondered why Beatrice was not wearing pink like all the other fairies, or even smiling like all the other fairies. Beatrice bent down to get a closer look since her vision was bad and she couldn’t afford laser vision correction. It’s such a drag being an outcast fairy! The princess picked up her little toy scepter and hit Beatrice on the nose with it.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Beatrice screamed, backing away. “That is it! I was actually going to give you a nice present, but since you did that, I’ll just put a curse on you instead! No pair of scissors will ever be able to cut your hair, except for one, and I’m not telling you where it is!” Beatrice then ran off, leaving the princess, her parents and the fairies standing there, stunned.
Princess Hairball, as she became known, was about sixteen when her curse became a real problem. Her hairdresser tried his hardest to find ways to style Hairball’s hair, but the fact was that the sheer weight of her hair was too much for her to stand. She could not hold her head up at all anymore, and had taken to wearing a neck brace just so she could look at people.
On Hairball’s seventeenth birthday, her hair had reached a width that made it impossible to leave her room. She was very sad, and she spent all of her time in her room with her hairdresser, who tried everything other than cutting her hair. After her fifth bleach job, done in an attempt to make Hairball’s hair become so brittle that it would break, Hairball gave up.
One day, five years after Hairball began spending all her time in her room, she received a visitor. She was shocked, since many people had come, claiming to have Beatrice’s magic scissors, but had promptly left, being scared to death by this girl with a bad bleaching job.
Hairball didn’t even get up to greet her visitor, partially because she could not. “I’ll save you princess!” he said, grabbing a huge hunk of hair and snipping it off with the scissors, which resembled hedge trimmers more than scissors. It took several hours, but Hairball was finally able to sit up, and then hold her head up.
“Oh thank you!” Hairball said once she had her first ever haircut. True, it was choppy beyond reason, but Hairball’s hairdresser could fix that.
“Your welcome,” the guy said.
“Yo! Harvey! It’s time to go home!” someone screamed from outside the window. Hairball poked her head out, not remembering the last time she had been able to do that.
“Your name is Harvey?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“You’re not even a real prince, are you?”
“Uh, no.”
It didn’t matter, because Hairball and Harvey got married anyway, because no prince wanted to marry Hairball. Not only was Queen Hairball a totally unflattering name, Hairball now had a new hair woe. She could now get her hair cut as often as she wanted, but the five consecutive bleaching were irreversible, and Hairball was doomed to spend the rest of her life with freakishly white hair.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Absolutes??
I have a ton of stuff that has to be done by Friday, but yet, here I am, blogging away. Why does blogging have to be so addictive anyway?
Am absolutely thrilled that I managed to finish up Christmas shopping for the fam. Christmas means very little to me anymore, but the fam still really digs it and so I'll try to act excited for their sake. I thought that the mall would be slam full of crazies, but whaddyaknow, AK and I were easily the craziest people there. AK had to go visit her puppies over at the pet store, and I went over to the Hallmark store to pick up some Hanukkah cards. The cashier looked at me kinda weird, but whatever.
Am absolutely aggravated that the Bob wouldn't let me go to services this morning. I really thought the Bob and I were past all this, but I guess not. Roadside assistance is crap. Anyway, maybe I'll make it to intro class tomorrow. I kinda miss my intro class people...
Am absolutely thrilled that I managed to finish up Christmas shopping for the fam. Christmas means very little to me anymore, but the fam still really digs it and so I'll try to act excited for their sake. I thought that the mall would be slam full of crazies, but whaddyaknow, AK and I were easily the craziest people there. AK had to go visit her puppies over at the pet store, and I went over to the Hallmark store to pick up some Hanukkah cards. The cashier looked at me kinda weird, but whatever.
Am absolutely aggravated that the Bob wouldn't let me go to services this morning. I really thought the Bob and I were past all this, but I guess not. Roadside assistance is crap. Anyway, maybe I'll make it to intro class tomorrow. I kinda miss my intro class people...
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